Saturday, October 30, 2010

Minute-long MS Paint contest!

Edit: Unreliable poll is unreliable.
A wins.


The subject: My Haggard 323.

A pic.
Text Reads "This is my car.
Known as Bonesaw, Shitbox, or even Shitsaw.
But mostly Bonesaw."
I then go one to point out that while it has one hubcap left, duct tape on my car, and is a hatchback, it no longer sounds like it eats children!



B Pic


C Pic

Life is good?

So it's official.
My blog is now solely about my car.
It sounds wonderful again!
For now.

Also my Halloween costume fell through. I made the mistake of showering yesterday, and now don't have enough grease to gel my hair straight up, in a comic Nikola Tesla fashion.
Oh well.

This is the worst blog.
Read this instead.
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/
This is a really funny thing.
And everybody should read it.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Car is a demon (again).

That’s right, my little 323 is once again one of the loudest cars in town, and definitely the loudest Mazda.

But until I get it fixed (again) I’ve decided to look on the bright side of things, and make a list about why having a disgustingly loud car is a good thing.

 

1. Lower chance of getting in an accident. Nobody can run into me if they know exactly where I am from a mile away.

2. People always know when I’m at their house. No giving old people heart attacks.

3. People think I’m cool. “Look at that whippersnapper, with his loud car. What a cool punk ass kid.”

 

And yeah, that’s all I’ve got.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

More searching…

This time, it’s for a door.

“I grew up in a college town, and one Halloween our doorbell rang and we opened the door expecting to see trickortreater—but what was in front of our open door—was another door! Like, a full-on wooden door, that had a sign that said “Please knock.” So we did, and the door swung open to reveal a bunch of college dudes dressed as really old grandmothers, curlers in their hair, etc, who proceeded to coo over our “costumes” and tell us we were “such cute trick or treaters!” One even pinched my cheek. Then THEY gave US candy, closed their door, picked it up and walked to the next house. MLIA”

This.

This is why I need a door.

But it turns out that most people don’t have a spare door sitting around.

A Quick Minecraft Tutorial:

 

340x

Also don’t touch lava, and don’t designate me to build the shelter.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

New Name!

For the blog, not me.

Decided Limited Ledger was too stiff, and accounting-like.

I thought it was a clever pun of General Ledger, but then I found out a Limited Ledger is actually a thing. So, for now we shall go by…

Clockwork Proxy.

So far, 7/7 critics agree (with some persua$ion) that this is a better name.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Dear World…

 

Perogies are the best food. Pizza is good too.

Mr. Jones is the best song, but Sugar Ray is the best band.

Yes Man is the best movie, just because of how uplifting it is.

Google is and will always be the best search engine.

And red lights should be treated as stop signs.

Thank you,

Dylan.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

It feels like I’ve been gone a while..

But it’s really only been a day. It’s a weird feeling going far away from home, but being back only a day or two after you left. I guess you’d get used to it, but I’m usually not up to take a day trip to a place 3 or 4 hours away.

You know those trips, the ones where you’re on the road for longer than you’re out of the car.

In my case, it was Abbottsford, for a wedding. Seven hours there, seven hours back. Had a few hours Saturday morning to hang out at the mall, (where I managed to find Etrian Odyssey 3) and then we went straight to the ceremony. Hour break to get food and visit Girlfriend’s mom. Back for the reception. Went home and played Etrian Odyssey until my DS died1, and then to bed. Woke up at god-knows-o’clock to get on the road. I wasn’t fully conscious until we stopped at Tim Horton’s to get food. This is also where we saw a crazy meth guy, freaking out because he had spiders in his coat.

(Then again, he was pretty dirty, so maybe he really did. Awesome.)

We made it back around 2 pm. It feels like I’ve been gone a lot longer, but I really haven’t. It also feels like it’s really late. I’m usually not up before the sun.

 

1. This wasn’t actually a bad thing because the game is actually hard. I was just running around drawing a sweet-ass map when BAM, some freaking Durians come out and start beating on me.

Fruit. Killing my party of a Ninja, a Pirate, an armoured spearman, a Taoist Monk, and a Scientific Magician. I finished the fight pretty quickly, and was like, “Oh, Tycho was wrong, this game isn’t that hard at all.”

Then I realized that it was the first fight.

On the first floor.

Against a fruit.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Let me paint you a picture…

A friend and I are in the woods. We’re on top of a fairly large hill, with a nice flat plateau at the top. We have no idea where we are, or where we should go, and darkness is approaching.

“Build a basic shelter,” he says. “I’m going to make some torches.”

So construction begins. I realize that we only have so much material, so I dig a hole, and begin building up the sides for shelter. By now, night is falling quickly. “Where are you?!” I hear my friend yell, obviously lost. I guide him back to our “base”, where construction is at a standstill.

This is the part where we start hearing noises…

It is too dark to go gather more materials to finish the shelter, so we wait in fear, as we listen to the noises around our high point. This continues for a while, and I fear the noises are drawing closer.

Finally, curiosity wins out, and I emerge from the hole, (with some difficulty) to see if I can find out what is making the noises. As I peer down the side of our hill, I see shapes moving below. I try to tell myself they are only animals, some nocturnal creatures that we missed in our earlier excursions; but I know they are not.

I hear them clearly now. Guttural, unholy growls.

They stop for a second.

I’ve been spotted.

I run back to the hole, hoping against hope that they are unable to get into our shelter.

I am wrong.

My friend is cursing now, wishing he had stayed to build the shelter instead of me.

This is where we find out that my shelter is actually a death trap. Everything can get in, but it’s near impossible to get out.

The shapes come over the hill, and into the hole.

We realize now what they truly are.

Zombies.

We fight them off, but they will not die. We can not escape, for that would mean turning our back to them. It is all we can do to stop them from eating us.

This continues for several minutes, until we realize that they are unable to hurt us as well. That’s when we heard one say, in a threatening, strangely human tone, stark against the previous groans:

“Wait

For

Beta.”

Thursday, October 7, 2010

More Information on Republic Medias..

So I’ve actually gotten a few emails about being featured when the site goes live, but I didn’t actually specify what to send me. So, here goes:

Republic Medias is a site for developing artists to get their work out, and consequently for people to find new art/music/writing.

If you want to be featured when the art goes live, email deviant.alibi@gmail.com with:

A piece of your work, (preferably the piece that will be shown on our home page.)

And a short bio of yourself/your group.

I’ll be sure to get back to everyone, and give you some say as we design the site. (Tools, layout, design, etc.)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

So my car exploded…

Well, it’s not quite as dramatic as that. And there’s actually a short story behind it.

So my Mazda 323, which is for the most part a good car, has just had a troublesome tailpipe since I got it. It’s loose, rattles, and has is actually broken in half at one point.

So this… was barely tolerable. It was noisy, inefficient, just plain annoying, but I put up with it for a while because I just didn’t have the time to jack my car up and fix it.

Finally, after a few months of owning the car, I got around to patching up the hole. Car sounded wonderful, all was well.

Then the whole thing fell off.

So until I actually get it replaced, my little hatchback sounds like a demon.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

So about that there Minecraft…

One of the most fun games I’ve played in a while, by far. Just the amount of simple creation is amazing. I’m sure most people have played it by now, but for those who haven’t, picture lego but life-sized.

Also, Zombies.

Anyways, the point of this post was to whine about the fact that torches will soon disappear. This will make my mine dark, and scary again. There will be zombies, and I will die. Possibly many times.

Let me emphasize that: Not only dark, but also scary.

I hear in the next update, if you mine for too long, you get Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Tips for Tipping:

I’m just thinking about this as I’m about to go to work, but most people don’t know how much to tip the delivery boy. So I’m going to lay down a play by play for tip amounts.

$1: A dollar? This is pretty rare, usually just a keep-the-change type tip, or from the places people go to get killed.

$2- Lower end of a typical tip. For small orders or if you live close to the restaurant.

$3-$4: These are your general tips. Nothing too special about them.

$5: This is your best common tip. Usually what everyone tips on Fridays, because they’re having fun, and I’m stuck at work.

$6-9: These tips are just nice to get. Friendly people give these.

$10- These tips are from big orders that we share with the chefs, friends, and generally awesome people. These tips seem to get more common on Friday and Saturday nights after beer o’clock.

$20- Gotten these twice over the year I’ve worked as a pizza boy. These are for those orders. The huge ones. The orders where we have to break out the big bag.

$30- This is where clothes come off.

What is this I don’t even…

So I watched Get Him to the Greek the other night. It really wasn’t that funny at all. Just another movie where people get really fucked up and do random stuff. I find movies like that are only funny when I’m drunk, after I’ve already had my fun. They always strike me as “Why don’t you just go out and get drunk yourself.” I figure I could go have a night with 1/2 the shenanigans of a “drinking movie”, and with none of the drama.

In another point, why do most new comedies have so much drama? I want to watch a comedy to laugh and have a good time. I don’t need contemplative reflections on the loneliness of being a rockstar. You make tons of money to get wasted all the time. If that’s so terrible, find a new job. They’re always looking for McDonalds employees.

I figure I’ll just go direct my own movie, and document some of the things we do while drunk. It will include such activities as “Drawing moustaches on the drunkest kids” and “Singing 80’s rock/pop songs as loud as we possibly can.”

Apparently there’s a market for it.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

The Main Problem…

With living in a small town, is it’s impossible to find things. Any things, really. We have 4 clothing stores within our 3 city radius, some grocery stores, a Wal-Mart, a Zellers, and a ton of fast food.

Survivable, yes. Enjoyable? Not so much.

After looking around for a day (the time it takes to go literally everywhere in our area), I couldn’t find Etrian Odyssey 3 anywhere. All I want is a game that’s inhumanely hard. Is that so much to ask?

Friday, October 1, 2010

Dear Kbs

In regards to your slogan:

"It's like someone broke into your house, stole all your CD's, and made a radio station."

Firstly, that's breaking and entering, and theft; and is not only frowned upon, but also illegal. If I actually had any CD's to steal, I would be very upset, as the radio is much less convenient than CD usage. This also leads me into my second point:

The only "Compact Discs" in my household are Video Games, Music from when I was 12, and most horribly, my families'. I am forced to sit through enough terrible music when my family uses their CD's, I don't need to hear it the occasional times (like this week) when my ipod transmitter, ipod, or any other stereo device in my car is out of order. It's punishing.

A better ad would be, "It's like someone broke into your house, hacked your computer, and put all your downloaded music¹ on an external hard drive!" Also it wouldn't be said in a terrible advertiser voice. Even then, I would have to put up with all the advertisements, and would still much rather rip all the music to my computer, and arrange it as I pleased, but alas! My CD's were stolen.

No matter how you look at it, this is a very upsetting circumstance. 

Please rectify this, and replace it with something that isn't terrible, a.k.a. no more soundboards! Also if you could work together with Mountain FM, to ensure that one of you is always playing a good song, or something that is at least tolerable, that would be wonderful.

Your unfortunate listener,

Dylan Gedig

P.S.- Sugar Ray is still cool.

Introduction!

First blog post, here we go.

I’m really just killing some time before work. Not that I have that much time to kill. Between College, work, friendships, relationships, and trying to get something extra going (A website of some kind), it’s been pretty busy recently. I do have stuff I could be studying, and an economics assignment to work on, but hey, it’s Friday. Actually I do have to work on that.

Maybe after I upload my starter posts.

And link my recently re-discovered Twitter.

And think of a clever-er title for the blog.

Yeah, I’ll just do it tomorrow.